Today, six years ago in 2011 our family dynamics changed forever. We lost Tosh at the age of 27. He was a son, a brother, a boyfriend, a cousin, and an uncle, all our lives were affected in different ways. Every day that goes by I think of him and a couple of months ago I wrote this poem, trying to capture some of the emotions I felt and still feel and I’m sharing it with you on this post.
It is not right
It should not be
That he has left, ahead of me.
He was not done
Nor finished all
Before he took that tragic fall
There’ll never be a wedding now
Or children in whose face I catch
Some semblance of the boy I’ve lost
I wish him back no matter cost
It’s better not to think this way
Of things he’ll never do or say
But just recall the good times had
Don’t dwell on minor things of bad
But then, I make him like a saint
This youth who loved to live and paint
On urban trains and midnight walls.
He didn’t heed friends’ warning calls
Or sirens from the boys in blue
He didn’t think their hearts were true
To him there was no wrong in graff
Sprawling images of this and that
Slashing authority’s senseless laws,
Fighting all the small man’s wars
Against the corporation greed
Upon whose profits politicians feed
He left behind some works of art
On streets, at home, and, in my heart
I know it was his destiny
To leave this world ahead of me.
Thomas Hartley November 30th 1983 – January 14th 2011
22 thoughts on “Note Number 14…14th January…a Significant Date…”
Wow. Really feel your pain. Thinking of you. Xx
Sent from my iPhone
Thank you Jan…it does get a bit easier each year. x
…. no further words required in this instance xx
You have been and are a great support on these days…xxx
That poem was very moving. I write with tears in my eyes. My thoughts are with you. Carol xx
Thank you Carol. I know you fully understand. xx
I can’t imagine the pain your soul must feel Ninette. I know it won’t pass but it must take its place. Thinking of you today. Love Althea xx
Thank you. It does get a little easier each year Althea, but every anniversay, Christmas, birthday all these things throughout the year are harder days to deal with. As the family grows I am reminded that there will be some new little members who will never know him, nor will he know them…it’s such a shame. xx
Wow…. beautiful Ninette! A tear sits in my eyes! Xoxox
Thanks India xx
I have no words but am so glad that you have them now. Beautiful.
Thank you for reading the post Thomas, I’m pleased that you liked the words. x
Love and thoughts to you and Geoff Ninette xxxxxx
Valerie Clarke Sent from my iPad
Thanks Val x
Beautiful poem Ninette, it reaches deeply…..thinking of you. Jxx
Thank you Jean…xxx
Graffitti was his life, I am sure he lived it very intense. I was just in a surfing place in Lanzerote, Canary Islands, on the west coast with very strong high waves, there was a memorial for a 30 year old man who lost his life surfing, it said: Surfing was his life ! When I was reading it I had to think of You and Tosh! It must be hard to have a son with such a strong passion. Your poem really moved me, Ninette. I wish you all the best, take good care, Oliva
Thank you for your kind words Oliva. Yes he was passionate about his graffiti. x
Lovely poem, Ninette. I’m so glad I did meet him. Thinking of you on this anniversary, Jim
Thanks Jim. Hoping to see you soon. x
What a sad and beautiful poem… do you have photos of his graffiti art?
Thank you for your comment. We do have a few photos of his graff…not many but I’m glad we have some.